7 Quick Ways to Calm Down
7 Quick Ways to Calm Down
I’m easily overwhelmed. When my kids’ exuberant screams reach a decibel level my ears can’t tolerate, or when I open my email to find 100 messages–I feel a meltdown coming on. Which is why I came up with seven quick ways to calm myself down.
I turn to these to keep me centered and grounded for as long as possible, and they help me relax my body even during those times when screaming kids and email messages won’t go away.
1. Walk Away
Know your triggers. If a conversation about global warming, consumerism, or the trash crisis in the U.S. is overwhelming you, simply excuse yourself. If you’re noise-sensitive and the scene at Toys-R-Us makes you want to throw whistling Elmo and his buddies across the store, tell your kids you need a time-out. (Bring along your husband or a friend so you can leave them safely, if need be.)
2. Close Your Eyes
Gently let the world disappear, and go within to regain your equilibrium. I’ve become aware of how important shutting our eyes is to the health of the nervous system. In closing our eyes, we can regain our balance and proper focus. The only time I recommend not using this technique is on the road (if you’re driving).
3. Find Some Solitude
This can be challenging if you are at work, or at home with kids. But we all need some private time to let the nervous system regenerate. Back in college, I opted for a tiny single room (a nun’s closet, quite literally), rather than going in on a larger room with a big closet. I went to the extent of pasting black construction paper on the window above the door so no one would know if I was there, in order to get the hours of solitude that I needed. Be creative. Find your space. Any way you can. Even it involves black construction paper.
4. Go Outside
This is a true lifesaver for me. I need to be outside for at least an hour every day to get my sanity fix. Even if I’m not walking or running or biking or swimming, being outside calms me in a way that hardly anything else can. With an hour of nature, I go from being a bossy, opinionated, angry, cynical, uptight person into a bossy, opinionated, cynical, relaxed person. And that makes the difference between having friends to have dinner with and a world that tells me to go eat a frozen dinner by myself because they don’t want to catch whatever grumpy bug I have.
5. Find Some Water
While watching Disney’s "Pocahontas" with the little kids in my family (yes, I do get some of my best insights from cartoons), I observed the sheer joy the main character shows upon paddling down the river, singing about how she is one with the water. It reminded me of how universal the mood effects of water are, and how healing.
On the rainy or snowy days that you can’t walk over to your local creek, do something the global-warming guys say not to; take a long shower, imagining that you are in the middle of a beautiful Hawaiian rain forest.
"Water helps in many ways," writes Elaine Aron. "When over-aroused, keep drinking it–a big glass of it once an hour. Walk beside some water, look at it, listen to it. Get into some if you can, for a bath or a swim. Hot tubs and hot springs are popular for good reasons."
6. Breathe Deeply
Breathing is the foundation of sanity, because it is the way we provide our brain and every other vital organ in our body with the oxygen needed for us to survive. Breathing also eliminates toxins from our systems.
Years ago, I learned the "Four Square" method of breathing to reduce anxiety:
1. Breathe in slowly to a count of four.
2. Hold the breath for a count of four.
3. Exhale slowly through pursed lips to a count of four.
4. Rest for a count of four (without taking any breaths).
5. Take two normal breaths.
6. Start over again with number one.
7. Listen to Music
Across the ages, music has been used to soothe and relax. During the worst months of my depression, I blared the soundtrack of "The Phantom of the Opera." Pretending to be the phantom with a cape and a mask, I twirled around our living room, I belted out every word of "The Music of the Night."
"Softly, deftly, music shall caress you, Feel it, hear it, secretly possess you…."
The gorgeous song–like all good music–could stroke that tender place within me that words couldn’t get to.